This week Marla Monroe visits the blog. I met Marla in person at Hot Mojave Knights 2013 and had a marvelous time talking to her. Since then, I've visited with her online as we're both authors with Siren Publishing, and I met with her last month for a writing retreat. I think we did more talking than writing, but she's so personable and down-to-earth, she's easy to talk to. Marla writes paranormal and contemporary romance often with menage and BDSM themes. Today I asked her one question about how she balances writing and family.
BBTF: You write a lot of books with BDSM qualities to them. What attracted you to the lifestyle enough to put it into writing?
Marla: I wanted to get across the emphasis on safety and the basic facts and reasoning behind the lifestyle. There are varying degrees of BDSM from teasing bedroom play to a serious, contracted 24/7 relationship defined and agreed on by two or more people. The one thing that most people get wrong about all of it is that the Dom or top doesn’t control the sub, bottom, or slave. It’s a power exchange or it is abuse. The sub, bottom, or slave has to allow the Dom or top the power over them. They put their pleasure, pain, control, and trust in their partner.
Another thing that I wanted to get across is that it’s not all about the Dom exerting control either. It’s about his ability to sense and understand what his partner needs and providing it. He/She will push the boundaries without ever crossing them. They strive to provide the best experience possible and have to be experts on body language and control.
That is something very few people realize, too. If they can’t discipline themselves to be able to go only so far and adhere to the agreed boundaries, then they are not trained or safe to work with. They have to be able to know when the sub/bottom is in trouble. They have to watch for all signs that something might not be quite right. They are vigilant in making sure the person they are responsible for is safe and not so caught up in everything as to not be able to make a safe decision or able to use their safe word or safe gesture.
You can find out more about Marla Monroe's books on her website. Be sure to buy a book and tell a friend. Happy reading!